***Says mindset of an alternative fuels divorce
***Prayers can’t liberate Nigeria from being among poorest nations in the world
Rev. Folake Achudume is the wife of Lawrence Achudume, founder of Victory Life Bible Church, Faith Heritage Group of Schools, Victory Women International and Royal Ladies International. She is the convener of Royal Ladies Congresses in Nigeria, U.K and U.S.A. and founder of Hadassah Villa, where abused ladies are rehabilitated. Folake in this interview with GABRIEL OLAWALE during her 50th birthday celebration, bares her mind on divorce in society and why Nigeria is among the poorest countries in the world. Excerpt:
Why is divorce so rife in Nigeria?
It’s so unfortunate and even so in the church. I always advise spinsters and bachelors that before they embark on anything marriage they need to reconcile their expectations because marriage is serious business. It requires much effort and compromise to work.
November, 2018 will make it 26 years that I have been married and in the beginning of our journey, my husband and I agreed that our marriage would work. We resolved that no matter what, we’ll make it work and nothing like “I will pack my load and go to my parents or friends’ house because of misunderstanding.
Every couple has its trying period because of gender and temperament. In my own case, we’re from different cultures, but we reached a compromise.
A forgiving spirit is crucial in a lasting marriage because offence will come, but couples shouldn’t let it thrive.
Why did you marry from another tribe?
Motives matter in every relationship. Most couples marry out of pressure from parents or because of aging, so they just want to marry anybody. By the time their differences show up, they’re ill-equipped to address them because the foundation is faulty.
After a long walk with God and commitment in His vineyard, I resolved that I wouldn’t marry a man that’s not passionate about God regardless of whether or not he’s a pastor. I see my husband as somebody that can support me to make heaven, because he loves God passionately. Aside that, he has vision which is paramount in life.
How did you cope in terms of cultural differences?
That was one of the major reasons my father initially resisted our courtship as he wondered “if they wanted to sell you in their language how would you know?” and I convinced him that God loves me and I don’t doubt His love. I don’t speak my husband’s language and he doesn’t speak my.
During our courtship, some family members didn’t speak English to him, but he spoke English to them. Our language barrier made me uncomfortable initially, but once they start speaking their language, I focused on other things but thereafter he told me everything, so I don’t feel lost because we believe we represent each other’s interest. I learned how to cook their delicacies just to surprise my husband once in a while and when I have issues with how to prepare any, my mother in-law comes to my rescue.
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